We are presently stuck in idle and can't seem to get our asses back in gear. In an era where every other new action-thriller hitting the big screen is a derivative of comic books or video games, far too often have we seen a once mighty series or franchise lose all of its glory as it is ripped to shreds and devoured by the dollar dragon, Hollywood. The most recent installment to fall prey to greedy executives and sheeply directors is the classic Atari title, Alone In The Dark. While this is not a review of the movie or game, it may be near impossible for me to refrain from bursting out in random rants regarding this utter box office disappointment. But hey, I will give it my all in this effort.

As I was slated to critique its companion soundtrack (this is the last time you will see me refer to it as thus), I figured that it would only be fair and fitting that I give the film a viewing. I mean, the trailers appeared to be pretty damn intriguing, aye? At this particular junction of my chronicle, "WOW!" seems to be the solitary thought that comes to mind, and I mean this in no good way at all. Other than having to sit through almost two horrid hours of second rate acting and semi impressive special effects, I never even heard a single note of any of the 36 songs that are presented on the Alone In The Dark album. Not even as the plot, ummm, thickened and the climax, hmmm, elevated. Nothing! Looking at my calendar, I made sure that it wasn't April Fools Day, because it really did seem like the joke was on me. The film's ending credits begin to traverse and finally I am shocked to hear Nightwish's "Wish I Had An Angel" kick in, followed by "Ghost" by Mnemic. And that is that, boys and girls!

This two disc cash cow is more or less a marketing tool to familiarize the masses with a few different record companies’ artists in the name of everything glitzy and glamorous. On a side note, the Alone In The Dark album is a decent compilation of newer tracks (no rare gems) by bands signed to the leading four metal labels Relapse, Century Media, Roadrunner, and of course Nuclear Blast. It breaks down like so:


DISC I

Dimmu Borgir "Vredesbyrd"
Shadows Fall "What Drives The Weak"
Fear Factory "Cyberwaste"
In Flames "Touch Of Red"
Strapping Young Lad "Devour"
Agnostic Front "Peace"
God Forbid "Gone Forever"
Chimaira "Down Again"
Dark Tranquillity "Lost To Apathy"
Exodus "Blacklist"
Machine Head "Imperium"
Soilwork "Stabbing The Drama"
Lacuna Coil "Daylight Dancer"
Dillinger Escape Plan "Panasonic Youth"
Meshuggah "Rational Gaze"
Nightwish "Wish I Had An Angel"
Cradle Of Filth "Mother Of Abominations"


DISC II

Arch Enemy "Dead Eyes See No Future"
Death Angel “The Devil Incarnate”
Diecast “Medieval”
Fireball Ministry “Daughter Of The Damned”
Heaven Shall Burn “The Weapon They Fear”
Hypocrisy “Eraser”
Mastodon “Blood And Thunder”
Misery Index “The Great Depression”
Mnemic “Ghost”
Dew-Scented “Slaughtervain”
Suffocation “Souls To Deny”
Raunchy “watch Out”
Kataklysm “As I Slither”
Bloodbath “Outnumbering The Day”
All Shall Perish “Deconstruction”
Bleed The Sky “Minion”
Samael “On Earth”
Dying Fetus “One Shot, One Kill”
The Haunted “99”


Whereas Resident Evil: Apocalypse was a terrific film with a terrible compilation disc, Alone In The Dark is a complete 180 degree spin on the aforementioned. As a positive, I suppose the Alone In The Dark album could serve as a nice introduction to the underground for an up and coming metalhead through the blatant exploitation of some of the more popular acts in the scene. Truly despicable, kinda like Karmageddon taking old Death demos to the bank. Do yourself a favor and skip the movie.